How hard is it to wait?

I’m curious. Why do we have to wait for things? I mean really, when you want it, feel it, see it, and work for it, you should get it now, right ?

Sometimes I really struggle with the whole, wait for it to happen, let nature take its course, go with the flow. What the heck is “the flow” anyway? Is it the thunderous torrents of water over the cliff edge, the moon driven tides that ebb and flow in the bay, or the muddy trickle of the creek in drought?  Or all of the above?

Going with what flow?

I feel like my flow is kind of like a dam

Up top is a huge still, deep lake, all is calm. Look past the surface, behind the dam wall, the spill-gate is struggling to keep the pressure to a reasonable level. It stands to reason, that every now and again you have to open more gates or the dam will burst because there is more and more flow coming into the lake from all over the place. The village in the valley is always in danger of drowning.

And what happens when  your flow is just a few muddy puddles and some thirsty dog comes along and tries to drink it all?

Drinking up all my flow

Back to waiting…

I am not the most patient person in the world. I know right, you never would have guessed. And I am only admitting to about half the things I’ve done and still do. This is a character trait of long standing. Two decades ago, a colleague gave out small cross-stitched saying for Christmas and mine read…

Give me patience, but please hurry.

She summed me up brilliantly. I’m the kind of person who will still be working and living life full on till the day I die. How about you? I love working, because I love the work that I do, and I love life, this world is so freaking huge and complex and entertaining, how can you sit still and wait? There are people to see, places to go, things to do.

Look at history, if everyone had waited, would we still be living in caves, grubbing in the dirt, foraging for dinner? I don’t think so. And look at now, millions killing themselves prematurely with overwork, rubbish at relationships and dissatisfied with life.

In the cage

How do we find the balance between strive and surrender?

Some days I believe as humans we are fundamentally lazy, wired to take the easiest and shortest route to whatever base desire pops up. Often happens on days when the pirate of procrastination steals my day and leaves me dazzled with a handful of cheap and shiny distractions. I see it in apathetic, isolationist attitudes on trains, streets, in meetings and workshops—leave it to someone else to do something about it, or to work for it, achieve something. It’s seems easier to whinge than work.

Then there are those days when I’m brought to tears or face cracking smiles by the (wait for it) awesomeness (yes, there it is) of creativity, compassion, generosity and resilience of individuals, teams and communities who make their mark, make a difference and make things change. And yes, there are days when I put myself in the awesomeness tribe.

I don’t know the whole answer to finding a concordant me—that aligned harmony that I get when I am of one mind, heart and soul. Jury is still out on that one.

Though if you have been waiting and not doing anything for a while…

Why wait?

Just saying…

What am I waiting for right now?

At the moment, I’m waiting to break the habit of a lifetime, the habit of being busy for its own sake, mired in the mess that’s in front of me.  I’m not really waiting, that’s the problem. I’m trying to do something to learn how to wait better. To go with that dam(n) flow. Working class work ethic, entrepreneurial leanings and unquenchable curiosity are making it difficult, but not impossible to chillax and enjoy what I have. I have a wonderful, remarkable life, isn’t that enough?

Some days I get it right, and some days I feel like I will be the oldest person still wondering what I’ll be when I grow up. I guess I’ll have to wait till then. Nah, probably not.

What are you waiting for? Or do you need to get curious and get going? Time’s ticking people.

You could go with the flow and do something at the same time by downloading the journal exercise  “I Love, I Value, I Choose”. 

Thanks for reading.
And if you’d rather listen to me read the blog, head over to SoundCloud HERE

Veronica

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