Time for fun! And that means what exactly?

You should have more fun!

What on earth does that mean? Fun according to who?

Can you see where this is going?

The sound of ‘should’ tends to bring my shoulders up to my ears. I figure I’m getting a little long in the tooth to be told what I should and shouldn’t do. So when someone (especially me) tells me I ‘should’ do something, it’s a flag to stop, reflect and reconsider. Who says I should do it? Why?

I ‘should’ still be in bed. It’s a public holiday here in Melbourne (for the footy Grand Final tomorrow) and many Victorians are having a sleep in. Not me. The stories in my head stop me going back to sleep. Echoes of peculiar dreams to accompany the soft breathing of Strack lying beside me.

Then there’s the father-son combo of roosters in the back yard competing to welcome the dawn with their raucous chorus, the complementary warble of magpies, and the harsh craawk of ravens. Following that up with one offspring showering, breakfasting, and heading out the door to his early morning shift in the city.

And those damn stories – yep still there.

Some of them are fiction and some not. These days the see-saw has tilted more towards fiction, though I still have my days when I replay those bad moments over and over and over – re-telling that same poor tale. Why do we do that? We wouldn’t pay money to go back and watch a bad movie, so why would we replay one in our head – especially one where the protagonist (us) comes out feeling so bad.

Time to re-write that scene. Which is where I was going with the ‘you should have more fun’.

Time for fun is on the dreamboard over my desk.

Problem is, I discovered that a few years ago that, apart from reading, I didn’t have any hobbies, so fun was more a concept than a reality. I’d spent a lifetime working for others and then I started my own business and spent way too many hours working for myself. Now that mightn’t be so bad, but it was a sad indictment of my ability to have fun.

I needed some time to think about what I define as fun. Was it adrenaline junkie physical feats of madness?

Leaping for fun

Nope.

Was it more classical, passive pastimes like concerts and live theatre?

Nope.

And the list went on. I’m not a painter or a crafter, though I’ve done lots of things over the years — but none really struck me as a fun now, as something I wanted to do again, and again.

I could think of lots of things that weren’t my idea of fun but not so many things that were. Now I’m getting better and I’ve found a few things.

Yesterday was a beautiful reminder of exactly the kind of fun I like.

Conversations. I spent a couple of  hours swapping stories with my sister. Both of us on our banana lounge, enjoying a warm spring afternoon, just chatting about life, the universe and everything – and there wasn’t even any wine – or whining for that matter.

Just memories, dreams, laughter. I am so very grateful to have her in my life.

That’s my idea of fun. What’s yours?

And if you’re wondering about the next book – it’s close – really close.

Thanks for reading.
And if you’d rather listen to me read the blog, head over to SoundCloud HERE

Veronica

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What’s your one word?

Someone asked me the other day what my one word was.  What word was the anchor in my life?  The word that everything else is built on?

Great question.

I’d been speaking about what I do and why I do it.

I help people find their strengths and capabilities and to realise they have the potential to change their lives and the lives of others.  I do this with individuals, teams and organisations in lots of different ways; coaching, training, facilitating, being a change catalyst.  I give people the confidence to take action, to live and lead consciously. Continue reading

Do you have any evolutionary friendships?

A few years ago I came across the term ‘evolutionary friends’ in a course on feminine power by Claire Zammit and Katherine Woodward Thomas.

Over your life friendships will come and go and come and stay.

And then once in a while you’ll discover that you have an evolutionary friend.

Evolutionary friends are those amazing souls who’re prepared to see you through the personal transformation changes in your life.  These friends have boundless integrity and are prepared to go on the journey with you and to hold you and themselves accountable for following your dreams and becoming the person you’d like to be.  Evolutionary friends help you find and stand in your strength and power and cheer at your successes.  And they’re prepared to have the difficult conversations when you fail or slip into old behaviours. Continue reading

Our self-doubt is a traitor

My life belongs to me. What I think, feel, do and believe matters. But what happens when what you think and feel and do sends you into a nosedive rather than filling you with joy?

Most of the time I’m an optimist but I’ve been listening to Doubting Doris, Impatient Ivy and Procrastination Pattie way too often – together they’re the DIP. And when I listen to them I find myself doubting, impatient and procrastinating – a lot! Continue reading

How’ve you been, really?

One of my best friends made a gem of a statement the other day that started me thinking about friendship and mindfulness.  We’ve been best friends since we were kids and have stayed best friends even as careers and families kept us geographically distant the last few decades.

Although we live in separate parts of the country at the moment, whenever we catch up, often months apart, it feels like it was yesterday since we spoke.  When we fill each other in on what’s been happening, my friend described it like we both have these ’bonus bubbles of life’ between our catch ups.  As if the real world is the brief time we spend together, everything else has a sense of scripted alternate reality. Goes to show how present we are and invested in the moment when we’re together. Mmm sounds like we’re being mindful. Continue reading

Would you rather be passionate or enthusiastic?

A few years ago I heard Joseph Campbell’s exhortation to ‘follow your bliss’ and I thought, ‘Love it, I’m in!’ The full quote is “follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls” (thanks to my niece Erin for the introduction to Mr Campbell).  It sounded like a brilliant philosophy to someone like me whose bliss was way down the bottom of the ‘to do’ list.

Now, as I tend to do with anything new, I leapt into this new way of being with spontaneous and careless abandon.  And once I’d moved past the sticking point of – ‘What was my bliss, what joy did I want to pursue, what did I love to be or do with a passion that I was compelled to follow?’(more on this another time) – then life was looking good.

For a while… Continue reading