Time for fun! And that means what exactly?

You should have more fun!

What on earth does that mean? Fun according to who?

Can you see where this is going?

The sound of ‘should’ tends to bring my shoulders up to my ears. I figure I’m getting a little long in the tooth to be told what I should and shouldn’t do. So when someone (especially me) tells me I ‘should’ do something, it’s a flag to stop, reflect and reconsider. Who says I should do it? Why?

I ‘should’ still be in bed. It’s a public holiday here in Melbourne (for the footy Grand Final tomorrow) and many Victorians are having a sleep in. Not me. The stories in my head stop me going back to sleep. Echoes of peculiar dreams to accompany the soft breathing of Strack lying beside me.

Then there’s the father-son combo of roosters in the back yard competing to welcome the dawn with their raucous chorus, the complementary warble of magpies, and the harsh craawk of ravens. Following that up with one offspring showering, breakfasting, and heading out the door to his early morning shift in the city.

And those damn stories – yep still there.

Some of them are fiction and some not. These days the see-saw has tilted more towards fiction, though I still have my days when I replay those bad moments over and over and over – re-telling that same poor tale. Why do we do that? We wouldn’t pay money to go back and watch a bad movie, so why would we replay one in our head – especially one where the protagonist (us) comes out feeling so bad.

Time to re-write that scene. Which is where I was going with the ‘you should have more fun’.

Time for fun is on the dreamboard over my desk.

Problem is, I discovered that a few years ago that, apart from reading, I didn’t have any hobbies, so fun was more a concept than a reality. I’d spent a lifetime working for others and then I started my own business and spent way too many hours working for myself. Now that mightn’t be so bad, but it was a sad indictment of my ability to have fun.

I needed some time to think about what I define as fun. Was it adrenaline junkie physical feats of madness?

Leaping for fun

Nope.

Was it more classical, passive pastimes like concerts and live theatre?

Nope.

And the list went on. I’m not a painter or a crafter, though I’ve done lots of things over the years — but none really struck me as a fun now, as something I wanted to do again, and again.

I could think of lots of things that weren’t my idea of fun but not so many things that were. Now I’m getting better and I’ve found a few things.

Yesterday was a beautiful reminder of exactly the kind of fun I like.

Conversations. I spent a couple of  hours swapping stories with my sister. Both of us on our banana lounge, enjoying a warm spring afternoon, just chatting about life, the universe and everything – and there wasn’t even any wine – or whining for that matter.

Just memories, dreams, laughter. I am so very grateful to have her in my life.

That’s my idea of fun. What’s yours?

And if you’re wondering about the next book – it’s close – really close.

Thanks for reading.
And if you’d rather listen to me read the blog, head over to SoundCloud HERE

Veronica

If you’d like some sneak peaks at my next book, sign up to my Book Friends list in the website footer to get my irregular newsletter.

Are you a gongoozler in your life?

Valerie Khoo and Alison Tait (from the podcast “So you want to be a Writer”) issued a word of the week challenge the other day. Use “gongoozler” in a blog post somewhere.

So how does gongoozler fit into a blog on living a conscious, joyful life? Tips on life, loss and my literary dreams. It fits very easily. Gongoozler means an idle spectator. And if you know me, or have read any of my blogs, you know that I consciously gave up being a gongoozler a few years ago. I decided enough is enough, time to learn to feel and heal, no more letting someone else drive, or working myself to death for someone else’s dream. I made a choice to change, to be a fully committed participant in my own life, and to follow my own dreams of writing. Continue reading

Are you on track and still feeling stuck?

Human beings need to know where we’re going, we like a clear direction and a sense of certainty that we’re going to get somewhere – eventually.  We’re mostly content when we feel we have some control over our present and our future and are heading in the right direction – towards wherever it is we want to go, or whoever it is we want to be.

Now for quite a while I’ve had a pretty good sense of my life’s direction, and who I want to be.  My most joyful work is nurturing the spark of magnificence in people and giving them the confidence to find a dream and go after it.  I love this work and I love running my own business (OK three businesses).  Most days I’m clear, I’m on track, I’m motivated and ploughing through the work right on plan (I’m a coach and a project manager, I love a plan). Continue reading