Time for fun! And that means what exactly?

You should have more fun!

What on earth does that mean? Fun according to who?

Can you see where this is going?

The sound of ‘should’ tends to bring my shoulders up to my ears. I figure I’m getting a little long in the tooth to be told what I should and shouldn’t do. So when someone (especially me) tells me I ‘should’ do something, it’s a flag to stop, reflect and reconsider. Who says I should do it? Why? Continue reading

Is it time to show up for your own story?

There’s something magical about telling a story, and my dream has always been to write stories. Until recently, story writing was just that, a dream. But it’s a dream no longer; my book is finished and it’s being published soon.

My story is Breathing While Drowning, a memoir of my life so far. My heroine’s journey into despair, trials, tribulation and my quest for healing and return to living a vibrant and remarkable life, a life worthy of my attention. Continue reading

How hard is it to ask for help?

Ask for help for my stuff? Yoikes no! I’m fine thanks, I’ll manage. And I usually do; manage that is. I don’t know about you, but I find it so much easier to do things for other people than for myself.

I’ve found not asking for help for my own stuff, my most difficult habit to break. It just doesn’t come naturally. I have a tough time holding myself accountable for my own dreams, they tended to be last on my list and so often not done, leaving me more and more frustrated and stressed from the Zeigarnik Effect. Continue reading

Do you have any evolutionary friendships?

A few years ago I came across the term ‘evolutionary friends’ in a course on feminine power by Claire Zammit and Katherine Woodward Thomas.

Over your life friendships will come and go and come and stay.

And then once in a while you’ll discover that you have an evolutionary friend.

Evolutionary friends are those amazing souls who’re prepared to see you through the personal transformation changes in your life.  These friends have boundless integrity and are prepared to go on the journey with you and to hold you and themselves accountable for following your dreams and becoming the person you’d like to be.  Evolutionary friends help you find and stand in your strength and power and cheer at your successes.  And they’re prepared to have the difficult conversations when you fail or slip into old behaviours. Continue reading

The right words at the right time

Words have always held a special power for me.  Words are the magic of communication, sharing a message or emotion, revealing a truth or idea, offering comfort or advice, giving instructions or feedback.

The right words at the right time can change your life.  Sometimes you may have heard the words before but you weren’t really ready to listen to their message until that very moment.  Like the Buddhist proverb…

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Continue reading

Stop for a minute and breathe

When was the last time you took some time out to spend entirely for yourself for absolutely no reason other than you wanted to? What if I added to that question – without feeling guilty?

These days most of us (me too) get so caught up in the busy-ness of our lives that we never seem to take a breath that doesn’t have some task attached to it.

Busy-ness is the new black. Everyone is doing it or expects to be doing it. And most of us wear busy-ness like a badge of honour. Continue reading

How’ve you been, really?

One of my best friends made a gem of a statement the other day that started me thinking about friendship and mindfulness.  We’ve been best friends since we were kids and have stayed best friends even as careers and families kept us geographically distant the last few decades.

Although we live in separate parts of the country at the moment, whenever we catch up, often months apart, it feels like it was yesterday since we spoke.  When we fill each other in on what’s been happening, my friend described it like we both have these ’bonus bubbles of life’ between our catch ups.  As if the real world is the brief time we spend together, everything else has a sense of scripted alternate reality. Goes to show how present we are and invested in the moment when we’re together. Mmm sounds like we’re being mindful. Continue reading

Listen … did you hear that?

Being more mindful is a growing practice, in more ways than one. Taking the benefits as read, (more peace of mind and wellbeing, greater focus, creativity and better relationships) how could you start being mindful?

Now the thought of beginning a mindfulness practice, like anything new, can be a bit overwhelming (which is kind of funny when you think that mindfulness is supposed to reduce stress and increase focus). However, I have a simple way to start and you don’t need expensive equipment or fancy outfits and there’s no need to sit cross-legged on the floor (luckily for me as I tend to keel over in about 15 seconds when I do).

So here’s my tip for heading down the road to mindfulness. Continue reading

Let’s talk about something that matters

Conversations with purpose make us happier. I knew science would support me eventually, conversations with purpose certainly make me happy. There’s nothing I like more than a chat about stuff that matters with one or more people who are really present and engaged. Researchers say that “the happy life is social rather than solitary and conversationally deep rather than superficial”

The article also uses one of my favourite quotes from Socrates “the unexamined life is not worth living”. Now before you say ‘too much navel gazing’ and click elsewhere this doesn’t mean we need to spend hours pondering every nuance of the deep mysteries of life and picking apart our every experience. While the authors suggest that deep conversations actually make people happier and instill a sense of meaning in the interaction partners, the definition of what makes a substantive conversation is individual. It could be a chat about the state of our health system, your upcoming mortgage payment or the world shortage of bees. Continue reading