Writing is bringing my dream, and Jacqui's to life...
My first book is written and published.
It's done. It feels incredible to write and say that. A writing dream come true. 6th November 2015 at 2:08pm I saved and typed the final full stop. Editing is finished, production is done and I'm holding the book in my hand. Cassi, my eldest daughter, has drawn a beautiful image for the cover.
Breathing While Drowning is about hope, courage and finding your way home.
And you can now purchase the book to read for yourself, and use it to help you find the signposts on your own journey to a conscious, joyful life.
Breathing While Drowning is about my fall into grief after the death of my 4-year-old daughter Jacqueline Bree. Through sharing journals that I wrote to Jacqui throughout her life and for a few years after, I reflect on the lesson I learned as a young mother who gave birth and then lost a child who had a fragile hold on life.
Re-reading those moments with tears and smiles 20 years after writing them, I re-discovered a myriad of emotional, physical and spiritual experiences and choices that shaped me and directed my future.
Now, with hindsight and the wisdom of years, I can look on that young woman and see how far she’s come, what she and I learnt along the way. I can compassionately view the experiences of her birthing a child with a disability, her refusal to accept western medicine’s null prognosis, her search for answers, purpose and direction and how she and I fell into grief and for almost 20 years lived as if we could never feel whole again.
Grief is never gone
There are still days when I have to remind myself to breathe, when I can't see the edge of the ocean and when that drowning feeling threatens to engulf me. But these days I’m better at recognising the signs; I know where the life buoys and dry land are, I know how to use them and I can ask for help.
So, what’s the useful truth of my words, my memories, my quest for wholeness?
My wish for you is to have a remarkable life. Live and grieve on your own time, your life belongs to you and everything you think, feel, do and believe matters – that’s what counts.
Stop searching outside for who you are, for meaning in your life. Look inside, take the most dangerous adventure: the journey to you. Don’t get suckered by the excitement and hype of the hero’s journey because women have their own unique and powerful adventures and we take the quest our way.
Let yourself be surprised by life and the potential of you and those around you to live it consciously, creatively, confidently, remarkably.
Breathing While Drowning is a life map for anyone who has lost someone or something deeply important: a child, a friend or a even a piece of themselves.
By sharing the signposts that helped me find my way home, I hope you can find your own way to feeling, healing and reconnection to your dreams.
I hope you'll enjoy reading it very soon. You can read an excerpt below.
“Veronica is not only incredibly wise, with great wisdom to share, but she is incredibly brave. The way she shares her journey, in order that it may be of service to others, is courageous as much as it is kind. And it will indeed be of great support to others as they walk their own path.”
“It is so beautifully, sensitively and honestly written. Lots of tissues, tears and smiles.”
Rachael Jayne Groover
“Veronica is a gifted storyteller with a message of courage and hope that opened my heart. This story will inspire other women to take courage in their own quest to feel, heal and reconnect to themselves.”
“Veronica is an amazing woman, just as so many of us are (and don’t always realise). This book is an honest and inspiring account of her story. I do hope that it’s writing helped her healing, and it’s reading will help the healing of others.”
“Breathing While Drowning is an essential companion to anybody who wants to heal from a significant personal loss, reconnect to their dreams and live a joyful life again. By drawing on her own experience of the death of a child, Veronica compassionately guides the reader through their ‘ocean of grief’ and frustration, to find more vibrancy, passion and enthusiasm, in their time, at their pace. A wonderfully inspiring and uplifting book!”