Do you have any unconnected fun?

I’m curious… If you put ‘I’, ‘fun‘ and ‘today’ in the same sentence, what would happen?

How can I have fun today?

Stop. Take a breath, close your eyes and think of one fun idea that will be of no benefit to your family, friends or your business. It’s harder than you think—or that could just be me.

How do you have fun?

Small business owners especially, know that we are our business, it’s part of us and we are an integral part of it. It’s always on our mind, even if it isn’t conscious. So even when we’re having fun or spending time with family and friends, there is always a little bit of us thinking—how is this connected to my business—again that could just be me.

Do you wake up each morning and think about what fun you’re going to have today? Or is it more akin to dragging yourself out of bed already tired, heading off to a job that sucks you dry, contemplating a day full of people you don’t really know, and tasks you don’t really like?

If today seemed like a full fun agenda, yeeha! Enjoy 😊

You can stop reading now and go have fun

Are you having fun yet?

For myself, I’ve been feeling a little frustrated of late. As you know I am a ‘get things done’ kind of person. I’ve got great vision, I’m incredibly strategic, I can see what needs to be done, and I’m productive and efficient, all good. And I really enjoy what I do, I love the people I work with, I love being my own boss, and doing work that I feel makes a difference in people’s lives.

Are you good at having fun just for you?

What I am not so good at is having fun just for me for no other reason than to make myself feel good. I am always chasing some scheme or other, building some project or course or writing or reading to better myself, to build my skills and experience—or to do that for someone else. It’s all connected.

Knowing that I had all the business stuff in hand, my coach gave me some dastardly homework tasks. The first task was to think of one fun idea that is of no benefit to business, family or friends and go do it. Do you know how hard that was for me? As I said, for me everything is connected and has a purpose and a place. I can see how it all fits together and feeds into each other, it’s a gift that makes me a great coach, facilitator and project manager. So how do I disconnect that—or do I?

I thought I’d done plenty of self improvement work (sounding pretty self-righteous, mmmhhmm) so I was surprised when I got right down to it that I don’t really know what I’d like to do to have fun just for me.

Action and adventure anyone?

Initially I thought about things like paint ball or laser tag then I realised that those things would be fun but not my first choice, they would be first choices for the men in my life (husband and sons), and my daughter as well, when I asked. Action and adventure are kind of the default position at our place. It’s easier to follow along what they want to do, put their needs first. I guess its something I didn’t realise—I had lost my own idea of fun. A bit like Julia Roberts character in Runaway Bride who can’t decide what kind of eggs she likes for breakfast, her choice changed as the men in her life changed. She kind of gave up her choice for them. She doesn’t come into her own until she decides what she really likes herself.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a bit of action and adventure, and I firmly believe that we could do a lot more to raise our girls to be brave and adventurous as Caroline Paul says in her TED talk. Adventure aside, what do I do for fun?

Teach our girls to be brave

How do you re-charge your battery?

I read—a lot—and that’s fun for me, and it’s one of the few things I do for myself. And I often read for self-improvement or learning, and that’s not what I’d describe as unconnected fun even though it’s enjoyable. I wanted to do something different and fun. As a mother, your own needs are so often second, third or fourth etc, depending on the number of your offspring, and usually behind your partner as well. Your own stuff slips onto the back burner before you know it. It’s all part of loving them and wanting the best for them. But if you wear your own battery out you’ll have nothing to give them. You’ll be a dry husk with no joy, and definitely no fun.

So what did I do for my unconnected fun homework? I went to see a live show at a small town near my place. It was Hello Beautiful with Hannie Rayson, a one woman show about stories from her memoir. I laughed, cried and I had fun. And my friend and I had some great chats on the way up and back in the car. I did go for no reason but I couldn’t help it, afterwards I thought of a million ideas on how it might work for me with my own memoir. Hannie did such a beautiful job at sharing her story.

Now I’m working on the next fun idea, one step at a time. Damn, see, there I go ‘working’ on the idea of having fun, scheduling it into my calendar. I can see I have to use this fun muscle a little more before it gets strong enough to move on its own.

What’s your idea of unconnected fun that has no benefit to your business, your family or friends, it’s just for you? Maybe you could go and do that today.

Thanks for reading
(And if you’d like to listen to or download an audio of this blog go to Soundcloud HERE)

Veronica

If you’d like to read more about my quest for getting more fun in my life, gift yourself a copy of my book Breathing While Drowning, and see if my signposts can help you find your own fun.

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