I believe, that to live a remarkable life requires me to spend time thinking about me – what I think, feel, do, and believe.
There is danger here, though.
I read recently that when we’re focused on ourselves, it’s easy to get trapped in stories that get us down: we’re not good enough, we don’t belong, and nobody cares about us. Sound familiar?
In some ways, the last part that nobody cares about you is frequently true. Mostly, other people are also focused on themselves whenever they come in contact with you. How will you perceive them, are they good enough, do they belong? It becomes a crazy kind of self-perpetuating ‘it’s always about me’ cycle, where we all wonder what other people are thinking about us, and feeling all alone like we don’t belong.
I’d slipped into this story loop recently, again! It’s so easy to do when you’re fixed on a certain outcome and have your real world blinkers on. You drive and drive, living in your head and the future, and you don’t see the present, the beautiful countryside flashing by the windows. You miss so much.
Now it’s good to have friends who’ll be there in the good times to help you celebrate your successes.
It’s even better, it’s brilliant in fact, and life changing, to have evolutionary friends who’ll be there to help you journey through the tough times.
These are the times when the focus on you is running the old stories of misery, and doubt, and scarcity. Doubting Doris is in her element: you’re not good enough, you don’t really belong here and nobody cares about you or your stuff anyway.
As I was circling the despondency drain, one of my evolutionary friends called my bluff. She reminded me that I have a tendency (still) to give the control of my life and dreams over to others. It’s a delicate balance of ‘I love to learn – anything – so I’ll do another course’ with ‘I’ll stop doing the courageous thing to follow my own dream until I get permission from someone else by learning their stuff’.
I love to learn yes, but…
When is enough learning enough?
My answer is never; and at the same time, whenever it undermines your will to take action towards your own dreams.
Take a deep breath and another one.
Progress, not perfection is the way to go. Couple this with a belief that my stuff matters to me, and I’m back on track, here and now.
Being conscious of my strengths and foibles is a vital part of me living a conscious life. Knowing who I am now – what’s important to me, what matters, and what my values are. Becoming more conscious is the first of seven signposts I follow in my convoluted journey towards wholeness. I explain how I came to these signposts more fully in my book, Breathing While Drowning. And, sometimes I still loop around to see those signposts staring me in the face again, and again, and again.
I’m working towards concordance, one moment at a time – a harmony where body, mind and soul are all on the same wavelength, and life is good.
I feel strongly that I need to make the best life I can with what I’ve got, not making do, or being mediocre. I can’t imagine that a life spent just observing, and existing is enough? Can you?
Life has to be jumped into with both feet. Step forward I say. Though, while you do…
Hold life lightly…
Be willing to yield…
Be free of obligation…
Meet my limitations, let them be…
Paste them to the ground, stellar soil, universal unguent, quantum space…
Peel them off gently, and rearrange to open heart, and mind.
Be held, trust, it’s OK
Hold life lightly…
So, show up for yourself, listen to all the stories, and know you have the pen in your hand, you can write whatever future you’d like. Every moment is a blank page just waiting for you to write.
If you’d like some support to take a step towards your remarkable self, I have 1 spot left in the pilot of my Remarkable Life online coaching program. It’s stacked with the tools and resources I used to find my way back to wholeness. You can apply HERE.
Breathing While Drowning: One Woman’s Quest for Wholeness is my story of returning to a vibrant life, after years of living a life filtered through grief. You can read more about the book HERE.
Thanks for reading