As we madly set our goals for the year, could you consider choosing a getting better goal rather than a being good goal?
What I mean is, if you think about your goals in terms of getting better at something, rather than being good at it, then with every small change or action – whether we get it perfect, complete or not – we’re achieving our goal anyway – we’re getting better at it.
Getting Better Goals
With a getting better goal, we see our setbacks as informative rather than as failures.
If you imagine your life and business as a series of pilot projects, then the pressure to get it right first time drops enormously. A pilot lets you try something out, lets you test whether the changes you think you need to make—and the strategies and actions to make those changes—really work in the real world before you implement them on a bigger scale.
You don’t have to get a pilot right. In fact, a pilot is the place to make mistakes, find out where the gaps are and to watch for all the unexpected side effects to show up. Then you can adjust, course correct and move on to the next bit, storing valuable experience and skill along the way.
When I read this the other day, I had one of those Ah-Ha moments.
“We don’t worry about the likelihood of success because we know that even if we never do it perfectly, we will certainly improve (and getting better is, after all, the goal).” ~ Heidi Grant Halvorsen (from Suceed: How we can reach our goals)
I’ve been a project and change manager and a coach for years without making this connection consciously. I feel like this is because even though I’ve been intentionally working on my personal and professional growth, I had tended to still live and work with all of the parts of me in separate boxes, like I had a whole lot of hats and couldn’t wear more than one at the same time.
And OK yes, because I am a bit of a perfectionist, I want to do something better than good the first time and every time, even if I’ve never done it before.
Now I have more than five decades under my belt, and this has given me the time to learn and get lots of things done, to pilot many of ways to be and do. And sometimes it’s a bit awkward to speak about all the things I’ve done and am doing in life and business. It can make some people blanch a bit and back off, so I had tended to corral what I tell people – to eke it out bit by bit, to not admit to all that I am and all that I do, all the time.
This is the year to have all of you show up
That’s my big goal, my theme for the year. I am getting better at having ALL of me show up. Everything will fall under that one big goal.
This year I’m going to try a whole lot of new things including more public speaking, more writing, more running, more relaxing (shock horror!). I’ll share my goals with you in a later post – I have to re-write them now. 🙂
And, here’s the important by-line to add to the “I’m getting better” goal.
I’m giving myself permission to suck at stuff, to be just OK, and mediocre for a while. And I’m going to see what happens. I wonder who I will be at the end of this year and what I’ll be doing.
“You are a unique plant in the divine garden. You don’t have to know what plant you are in order to grow, you just need to live each day and the growth happens naturally. Then you can see, over time, the beauty of your true nature revealing itself to you.” ~ Alanna Fairchild
My tip for a conscious life this week: Show up as all of you (the good, the bad, the magnificent and the mediocre) and watch the magic start to happen. Rather than working out who you need to be for this group or that group which is exhausting, try taking all of you with you everywhere, keep it real and authentic.
Imagine if every time you entered a room, the whole place lit up because you brought the joy of being all of you. Imagine if every time you left a room, you left every person feeling better about themselves, their job and their place in the world.
Progress breeds progress people!
For every moment that you show up as all of you, you are a little closer to being a better you. And getting better is the goal.
And if you haven’t set your goals yet… better late than never!
Thanks for reading.
And if you’d rather listen than read, here’s the link to the AUDIO.
If you’re ready to invest in discovering more about ALL of you, check out my 14 week online coaching program My Remarkable Life, and get your year off to a better start.
Or if you’d like to read about how I started my quest to getting better, gift yourself a copy of Breathing While Drowning: One Woman’s Quest for Wholeness.